"A benchmark from a machine you cannot name is a rumour. A benchmark from a machine you can ssh into is data."
The Machines
Every measured number in this quest comes from one of nine Macs in one household, read live on 2026-09-15 over ssh. They appear here by role alias — office, server, and so on — with chip, memory and job, and never by hostname, address or owner. That is a privacy rule and a teaching rule at once: what you need to interpret a number is the silicon and the load the machine was carrying, not where it lives.
| Alias | Machine | Chip | CPU | GPU cores | Memory | Role | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| office | Mac Studio | M3 Ultra | 24P + 8E | 80 | 512 GB | the engines and the control planes; Pippa's home | measured 2026-09-15 |
| server | Mac Studio | M3 Ultra | 24P + 8E | 80 | 512 GB | the inference hub: embeddings, reranking, image generation, a chat model | measured 2026-09-15 |
| worker | Mac Studio | M2 Ultra | 16P + 8E | 76 | 192 GB | leased jobs: media scans, transcoding, transcription | measured 2026-09-15 |
| music | Mac Studio | M2 Ultra | 16P + 8E | 76 | 192 GB | the music studio | measured 2026-09-15 |
| macbook | MacBook Pro | M5 Max | 6 super + 12 performance | 40 | 128 GB | the main laptop | measured 2026-09-15 |
| pro2024 | MacBook Pro | M4 Max | 12P + 4E | 40 | 128 GB | laptop | measured 2026-09-15 |
| pro2023 | MacBook Pro | M3 Max | 12P + 4E | 40 | 128 GB | laptop | measured 2026-09-15 |
| air | MacBook Air | M3 | 4P + 4E | 10 | 24 GB | the electronic drum kit's Mac | measured 2026-09-15 |
| mini | Mac mini | M4 Pro | 10P + 4E | 20 | 64 GB | the music server | measured 2026-09-15 |
All nine run macOS 26.6.2 and report a 16 KB page size. Every one of them ships the rdma_ctl tool, and on every one it reports disabled — which says nothing about whether the machine could use RDMA over Thunderbolt (that is a Thunderbolt 5 question, settled in the big-models track), only that nobody has turned it on.
Which Four Are the Lab, and Why
A measurement is only informative when one variable moves at a time. The plan picks four machines that make that possible:
- office (M3 Ultra), pro2023 (M3 Max), air (M3) — three tiers of one microarchitecture. Same cores, same memory generation, same operating system; only the bus width, GPU count and capacity change. That is the ladder for "what does bandwidth buy".
- music (M2 Ultra) — 800 GB/s against office's 819 GB/s, with the GPU one generation older. Nearly the same bandwidth, different GPU: the pair for "what does a GPU generation buy at fixed bandwidth". The other M2 Ultra, worker, would do as well, but it carries production jobs.
And the five that stay out: server is the inference hub the household's apps depend on — a benchmark that starves Pippa's retrieval is the unified-memory lesson learned the expensive way; worker is leasing jobs from the control plane; mini is streaming music; pro2024 would add an M4 point to nothing this quest measures; and macbook is an M5 Max, and the plan's rule is that the M5 generation appears as vendor claims only until it is measured deliberately, as its own evolve, rather than incidentally because it happened to be the machine the session ran on.
Read the Fleet Yourself
The code block is the script that produced the table: it runs the lesson-one card over ssh for each alias and prints one row per machine. Aliases come from your ~/.ssh/config; the script never needs to know a hostname. If you have one Mac, it prints one row — and that row is the first entry on the card you are keeping.